I have a friend who has a hard time saying no to a request. She says that when she does say no, the request just slips down the mental priority list.
The same goes for saying no to something that you truly don’t want to do. I’m not saying you should never say no, but rather that you should be more mindful about doing so.
One of the best ways to do this is to look at your “no” list and determine whether you’re giving yourself a “bad” number. If you’re giving yourself a 99 or a 6, you’re basically saying “I don’t care about this and I’m going to pass on it.
The same goes for your priorities. If youre giving yourself a 100 or a 37, youre basically saying Im not important enough to have it.
In the same way, you should also look at your list of priorities and determine whether youre giving yourself a good number. If youre giving yourself a 10, youre basically saying I really need to do this, so how about doing this instead.
This is the point where the term “self-awareness” comes in. If youre giving yourself a good number and you realize youre on autopilot, you know you should check on yourself. The problem is that if youre not getting your priorities in check, then you can lose your self-awareness. The best way to get self-awareness is to make sure you’re giving yourself a good number.
The easiest thing for people to do is give themselves a number that makes them feel good. The best way to get a number that makes you feel good is to do something that you really like. When youre giving yourself a number, you want to do something that makes you feel good, so do something you are really into.
You can do this by doing something you love, that you feel important about. For example, instead of listening to your TV, you can do something that makes you feel good about it, say “I love my TV” or “I love my music” or “I like the smell of my favourite perfume.” When youre giving yourself a number, you want to do something that makes you feel good.
You can often find people who say they love music or good things about a person. They just dont want to admit they love them. Thats when you know youre not doing anything out of love. Youre doing it out of self-esteem.
The most natural thing to do when youre thinking of a better way to do something is to compare yourself to other people. But if youre really looking at it this way, you can see that if you do something that makes you feel good, you are going to continue to do it. In the example above, you still took your TV out of the room, but instead of saying, “I love my TV”, you said it in a way that made it okay to do so.